


The Wall

by Rayduuu



Series: Amarië Lavellan [8]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 17:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3858610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rayduuu/pseuds/Rayduuu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amarië has been largely avoiding Solas after he ended their relationship only a few weeks prior. When they meet on the battlements of Skyhold to discuss the events at hand, however, their conversation turns heated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wall

Amarië leaned against the battlements of Skyhold, her eyes turned toward the shining mountain peaks that neighbored the keep. This part of the keep was quiet, away from the ringing of steel against steel from the practice ring, the cawing of Leliana's crows, the crowds of people vying for her attention. A cold breeze stung her cheeks, but she was getting used to the mountain air and it helped clear her tangled, fevered thoughts.

She had been avoiding Solas. She tried to be understanding, to not be angry, but found it difficult through her hurt and confusion. After the night he took her vallaslin he had built a wall between them. He spoke to her politely, but without the familiarity she had found so comforting. He was as distant and guarded as he had been when they first met, before she had worn it down with her teasing and curiosity and forward affection, and it hurt. She had grown close with the rest of her team over the months but to be suddenly cut off from Solas’ affection made her feel as if she were among strangers. She felt vulnerable. She  _hated_  feeling vulnerable. Her throat grew tight at the thought.

“Cut it out,” she muttered to herself. It was ridiculous to keep getting so damned emotional about it, and she couldn't show weakness now. Not when she needed to be the strength of her friends, the foundation of the entire Inquisition. The bulk of Cullen’s forces were still a week from Skyhold, but there was a tension in the air and a sense of finality in Leliana’s reports. She would face Corypheus before long. It was certain.

She rested her head in her hands, her fingers looped through her hair, as she stared into the valley far, far below. The stone beneath her feet was cool, solid, grounding compared to the vast expanse before her.

_I need to be like that stone_ , she thought,  _solid and unyielding and unfailing._

“Inquisitor.”

It was a gentle murmur, but she started violently. She expected to have more time to herself and, in her distraction, had not even heard him approach. She turned to see Solas standing near, but at a polite distance. _Oh, but it hurts._ She blinked back the moisture in her eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice. The way his eyebrows furrowed slightly, however, despite his composure, betrayed that he had. She sighed.“Ir abelas. Thank you for this.”

“Sathem.”

“Have you learned anything?”

Solas moved to stand next to her, leaning on the wall. “Some. Lady Morrigan keeps her secrets very close, understandably.”

“And the well?”

“It has affected her. I do not believe she is as equipped to handle the knowledge she gained as she believed, but her mind remains intact. As do her intentions, it seems. She undoubtedly has ulterior motives, but it does not seem likely she will betray the Inquisition. At least, not before Corypheus’ defeat.”

Amarië shrugged. “I was able to determine all of this by speaking with her myself. What of the well itself?”

On this, at least, his information was better. As they spoke they fell into a familiar rhythm, discussing what they had speculated while in the temple and his own confirmations from his exploration the fade. After their experience at the Temple of Mythal, while she had continued to hunt down red templars and explore the waking world for any advantage against Corypheus, she had tasked Solas to gather what information he could from the fade concerning the vir’abelasan and the temple. Her primary concern had been what influence the well would have on Morrigan, if the voices of the well would alter her. Aside from that, however, she pined for what had lain within the walls of the temple; the untainted slice of the world her people had known before the Fall. Her thirst for knowledge was unquenchable, her questions of the temple in its glory came enthusiastically, and though he could not completely satisfy her curiosity, it was enough for her.

Her smile grew broad as they discussed the murals of the pantheon and she unconsciously reached for him, gripping his arm as she urged him to tell her more of what he knew of the gods. He grew quiet.

“Oh.” She dropped her hold on him and turned away, her face growing warm.

The tension between them rose as the vacuum left by the absence of their conversation pulled at their comfort. She glanced at him. The furrow in his brow and the pained look in his eyes told her that his thoughts were not far from hers- disquieted that they had fallen into such easy conversation without even realizing it.

She missed it. She missed  _him_.

The silence stretched between them, deafening.

She turned her face back to the valley, the cool wind rustling through her hair. “I don’t want it to be like this.” Her voice was soft.

It took him a moment to respond, but when he did his voice was strained. “I believe it would be…  _kinder_  to maintain the distance between us, Inquisitor.”

She laughed, a bitter bark of a noise. “ _It would be kinder in the long run_. Those were your words. Then you told me you loved me. What changed, Solas?”

Solas straightened, his features settling into his usual mask of polite reserve. “I apologize, Inquisitor. I have taken enough of your time.”

She rounded on him, anger boiling up her chest, her face twisting with incredulity. “Just like that? Creators, Solas, you fight so hard to push away from me, acting as if you have no choice, that it hurts you. Have you even once considered fighting that hard to stay  _with_  me?”

His eyes snapped to bore into hers, flashing. He moved toward her, his face suddenly close enough that she could feel his breath hissing through his teeth, the words forcing their way out of him with impassioned vehemence. “Do you not think that if I could, Amarië, I  _would_? Do you not understand that I would turn this world inside out for you? Do you not think that that is  _exactly_  the reason I cannot?”

She had only a moment to be taken aback before rushing to close the distance between them, her mouth on his, pushing him back to the opposing wall, all of his resistance broken. Her fists clutched at his tunic and his tongue was in her mouth, his hands gripping the back of her head, fingers threading through her hair, pulling her into him. They rocked against one another, all torment and fevered passion, simultaneously pulling and pushing at the other as they drank each other in.

They broke apart almost as violently as they had come together, pushing off the other, breathing ragged. Amarië stared, wide-eyed and trembling with unrestrained feeling. Solas was no better. He reached out, but let his hand drop before he could touch her. Amarië’s eyes followed that hand as if it were the last thread of a rope breaking. He shook himself, steeling his resolve. 

Solas turned away. “I  _can_ _’t_ ,” he simply said, his voice quavering. He strode away, disappearing behind the door of the nearest turret.

Amarië wrapped her arms around herself, leaning against the wall of the battlements and sliding to the ground.

_Solid as stone. I need to be solid and cold as stone._

**Author's Note:**

> The AMAZING Tsyele [drew the ending in comic form](http://tsyele.tumblr.com/post/131912966556/the-wall-giveaway-winner-for-rayduuu-full-page). It's _perfect_. Please check it out.  
>   
>  Poor Amarië's little heart was screaming "IF OUR LOOOOVES INSANITY WHY ARE YOU MY CLARITY" throughout this whole thing.  
> Click [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4442021) for the NSFW alternate ending to this story.  
> After posting exclusively to [Tumblr](http://rayduuu.tumblr.com/post/116188651568/solavellan-masterpost) for the past few months I've finally decided to start throwing my stuff on AO3, starting with this little angsty piece. Thanks to [Mithrakana](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mithrakana) for finally convincing me to post! More to come!


End file.
